InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Give em' hell kid!"

Ryoji Mochizuki | 望月綾時 (theappriser) wrote,
@ 2010-07-25 23:33:00

Entry tags:

on the border

humans
[in the attic...alone.]

[Ryoji's form is changing erratically as he speaks to himself, and his voice is somewhat distorted. He seems to be in a state of extreme confusion, his feelings conflicted.]

HuManS...TheY're ALl the SAMe. SeLFish, UnAPPrecIatiVe, oUT foR TheIR oWn ENdS. HUmAnS! Humans...I used to hate them. Watching the way they took and stole and ravaged made me sick. They don't appreciate anything they're given. They take and take until there is nothing left. I HATE THEM. AfTEr aLL i'Ve dOne FoR thEm, ThIS iS WHAt tHeY dO TO mE In rEturN? mOcK my LaWs fOR thEIr seLFIsH deSiRES? I protected them! I watched out for them and intervened when I shouldn't have! I should have let all of them DIE! ThEy DeSerVE to DiE fOR aLL oF thEir SINs! Don't they know that a world without death is really like? WhAT DiD I seE in THeM? HuMANS...I love humans! DOn'T I? i wanted to BE a humAN...wHY?

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	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 08:02 am UTC (link)
	[Lon hears the strange voice coming from the attic. He stands on a stool and put his ear against the door. He's worried and a bit scared.] ...Ryoji? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 08:11 am UTC (link)
	[ThAt VoiCE...! It's Lon.] [Ryoji breathes in deeply before replying in a strained voice.] ...Y-Yes? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 08:15 am UTC (link)
	Is...something the matter? Are you sick...well, I guess I know you can't get sick, but... Can I help you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 08:20 am UTC (link)
	No, I'm sorry...I...I'm just...confused right now. [Ryoji wants to talk to Lon but is feeling that it is difficult to express his thoughts about this particular issue.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 08:30 am UTC (link)
	Oh........ Okay. If you change your mind though, don't hesitate. I really want to talk with you, to tell you the truth, although I don't know what I'll say. It's all sort of scary, honestly. I...I guess I'm just glad to see you now. I was afraid I wouldn't... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 08:37 am UTC (link)
	Yeah...thanks. [Ryoji considers saying something else, stops himself and then says it anyway a moment later, quietly and uncertainly:] I'm sorry. I just don't want to frighten you. I'm not the same right now...as how you know me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 08:40 am UTC (link)
	It...it might frighten me...but it won't change how I feel. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 08:49 am UTC (link)
	A lot of old feelings are coming back. Things I used to think about before I spent that year without my memories. If you come talk to me, you'll hear things you don't want to hear. But I won't sToP yOU iF yOu StiLl wiSH to CoMe uP. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 08:51 am UTC (link)
	I... [Lon is scared. He is a timid person after all. But seeing a harsh side of people he loves is nothing new to him. He knows what Ryoji is, even if he can't fully comprehend it.] I'll come. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 08:58 am UTC (link)
	I'm sorry you have to see this. [Ryoji's body is taking on strange shadow-like features, quickly reverting back to normal and so on. His hands are shaking.] SoMetHIng iS WRoNG. I'm feeling conflicted...? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 09:02 am UTC (link)
	It...it's okay. It was my decision. [Lon watches, mesmerized. He reaches out as if to steady Ryoji's shaking hands. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 09:05 am UTC (link)
	Please...tell me. Why did I love humans? Or why did I say I loved them? AlL tHEy dO iS TAkE. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 09:10 am UTC (link)
	I don't... Everyone wants to love and be loved. You learned what it's like to be human, didn't you? You could relate. Even if humans were weak and cruel. And humans can be good too, can't they? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 09:12 am UTC (link)
	Yeah... Of course they can... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 09:13 am UTC (link)
	But there are some laws that aren't meant to be broken. What do I do? Do I...fix what has happened? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 09:18 am UTC (link)
	..."Fix"...it? Well, you're the authority, Ryoji. [Lon just feels relieved that Ryoji seems to have gotten himself under control a bit. It's a good sign.] You would know best. And if those laws aren't meant to be broken, it's for a reason. I agree that it's completely unnatural. Solf knows that too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 09:22 am UTC (link)
	What I'm feeling is definitely internal conflict. If I fix this mistake, you might not be around in spirit anymore either. And I want Kimblee and you to be happy. I guess...I don't want to do my job? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 09:28 am UTC (link)
	Th-that's right... I guess I can see why. You care so much about us, even when we screw up so badly... Maybe you wouldn't have to do the job entirely yourself... I mean, I spoke to my brother and he said he would... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 09:34 am UTC (link)
	No! Then...then it would be a complete waste, everything he did...! It's my fault. I should have stopped him before he did it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 09:36 am UTC (link)
	Hmm... Well, yes, but...if his killing me was a part of our tie... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 09:37 am UTC (link)
	I was so sad and so angry, I just kind of lost it. I should be more forgiving... But it's very hard for me to understand. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 09:39 am UTC (link)
	It would be difficult for anyone. At least that's my opinion. I'm a little messed up myself for being to forgive so easily. It's because a person can feel love that a person can also feel hurt, I think. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 09:41 am UTC (link)
	I'm sorry to worry you. I won't leave. I love humans...even if I feel very "hurt" right now. I'm still getting used to these kinds of feelings. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 09:44 am UTC (link)
	I'm so glad! No matter how hard it is, I want to be there for you, Ryoji. I want to help you with all these things. And I'm not the only one who cares about you, either. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	theappriser 2010-07-26 08:54 pm UTC (link)
	I...I know. Thanks. Honestly...I let you humans get away with way too much. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	betweenphotos 2010-07-26 09:26 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, you do... Some of us do appreciate it. I promise. (Reply to this) (Parent)